The Top 5 Things My Parents Got Right

While listening to TED Radio hour, I was inspired.  By the way, if you have never hopped on to TED.com,  I highly recommend it. TED presents talks, usually 10 minutes or less, from experts in different fields.  You can find just about anything that piques your interest.  TED: Technology, Entertainment, Design

A wee bit of background on me before I start.  I have a Mom, a stepdad who legally became my Dad, and a father (in the biological sense of the word only).  My Mom was pretty much raising the three of us on her own until late 1976.  I have two brothers: a younger brother with his master's degree in a field related to code and/or IT and an older brother who is a successful attorney.  So you see, we kids have done fairly well in a mixed up and often messed up world.  A good portion of that credit goes to my parents.  We are a product of our environments and our upbringings.  My parents did a lot of things right.  These are the top five things I learned along the way that helped shape me into who I am now:

1.  College wasn't an option.  That grabbed your attention, right?  College wasn't an option, it was an expectation.  A two year school wasn't a choice either:  we are talking full on university.  Obviously, the three of us took it to heart.  Rick has his Doctorate of Jurisprudence, Matt has his Master's degree, and I have graduate hours.  What is so amazing about this is that my Dad didn't finish high school but rather received his G.E.D. so that he could serve our country.  My Mom didn't graduate from college until I was 20.  When we were finishing high school the question posed to us wasn't, "What are your plans?" The question was, "Where are you going to college?"  That being said in this digital age and ever changing society, I think much like the Dirty Jobs guy, Mike Rowe, there is a high need for skilled work as well:  technicians, welders, etc.

2.  Unplug.  Ironic as it is, I am saying that turning off devices is one of the best things you can do.  When I was in junior high, Pops used to insist that we go outside for fun.  The result of this was all sorts of neat things.  Matt and I would plop into an inflatable raft with a kite in hand and sail ourselves across our pond (or tank as it is called).  Sometimes we would turn it upside down and treat it as a SCUBA diving haven.  We built treehouses, played "Spotlight" (which was Hide and Seek in the dark), went camping on our own acreage, played in the rain and learned all about bayou biology.  I could go on and on with the countless learning and fun that went on outside.  It was almost always unsupervised which I don't think was an error. That being said, we were always on our country acreage or within whistling distance of our Sugarland suburban home.  That brings me to the next item.

3.  Respect.  When Pops (my Dad) was introduced into our lives, we didn't have a significant male figure around regularly.  Grandpa and Grandma were seen a few times a year and talked to on the phone weekly but there was no male authoritative figure day in and day out.  Pops is a Marine that served in Korea.  We learned to answer with "Yes Ma'am and Yes Sir or No Ma'am and No Sir" quite quickly.  At the time we thought it felt like it was boot camp but I am glad for it.  We were always a whistle away.  Pops would place his fingers just right, under his tongue, and blow out a call that could be heard at least ten houses down the block.  The dog had a whistle, too, in for which he came back -- different from our own.

4.  We are all members of the house, therefore we all contribute.  We quickly learned when Mom was single with little or no support, that we had to help.  At a young age, I cleaned out litter boxes, baked cakes, and hand washed dishes.  After Mom and Pops married, I learned to clean the whole house, do some cooking and started to take care of laundry.  Some of this was out of necessity as they both worked and commuted.  No matter, it taught us that we all do what we can to help the famiy run smoothly.  We kept a garden; this alone could be a numbered "got it right".  We tended, tilled, weeded, harvested and helped to cook what we grew.  Now with a Zombie Apocolypse possible, I feel better knowing that I can grow food, start to finish.

5.  Dinner is eaten TOGETHER in a dining room. Will I ever hear the end of this one? At dinner, and for that matter breakfast on the weekends, the five of us would sit and eat.  Sometimes it was quiet but most of the time it was conversation building connectivity WITH EACH OTHER rather than the web.  I distinctly recall my older brother, Rick, trying to distract me and chug my milk.  I have a very clear memory of finding creative ways to avoid peas.  "Take what you want but eat what you take," was a common mantra in our house but so was eating vegetables.  (Sigh----for the record I still won't eat green peas or cooked carrots.) In the mornings before school, the three of us kids would eat cereal sitting at the dining room.  We were together.

The small family of five that was firmly established in late of 1976 isn't perfect, it's not meant to be.  My parents did a lot of things correctly.  These top five are keepers that I hope to instill in our sons.

For more on parenting with purpose, I suggest Parent Expectations Relating to Academic Success. 

Life is Fleeting

During rainy conditions today, while traveling something like 60-65 miles per hour while going South on the Grand Parkway I hit a dog.  I was driving our Mini Cooper, a.k.a. The Super Mario cart after a visit with my husband's side of the family for a baby shower.  The dog came out of nowhere and I promise you this, I didn't see him/her until it was in my rearview mirror.  A white SUV was behind me in the left lane, I was in the right.

I was totally stunned.  I actually only felt the rear right tire lift and from what I can see, the dog seemed to weigh somewhere between our former dog, Bacon and our dog Shadow which translates roughly to 80+ pounds.  I kept driving (I know I should have stopped) because I could tell in my rear view mirror, it was a goner, not to mention the fact I would have had no tool or way to put the dog out of his misery.  I was also, as I stated, leaving a baby shower and it was raining and had been for sometime.

I called my husband, very shaken but proceeded onward toward home.  My hands kept shaking at the enormity of taking a life.  Though it was a dog or coyote, I was trembling.  This is the second dog that I have hit and back in high school I hit a cat.  At any rate, I drove on.

Another 15 miles later, my A.C. wasn't cooling and the windows were fogging terribly.  Then the light came on and went from orange to red in 3 seconds flat.  My phone was dying and I had no cord for charging.  The light was an indicator that the engine was overheating.  I wondered if something in the incident made me lose oil.  I phoned Glen, again and he told me to pull over.  By the time I reached the Rosenburg exit I had made an erroneous assumptiom of the A.C. and the warning light. When I turned off all the fans, etc. the light went off.  I was having great difficulty seeing though my windshield, passed my exit and then low and behold the light was on again.  After pulling over onto 2218, I called Glen again, gave him a report and let the car cool. When pulling to a stop, it all but died. I got out and looked toward the passenger fender (where I thought the dog hit) and found no damage.  I had truly only felt the back passenger tire lift.

I let it cool and tried again but only made it one exit further pulled into the McD on 36 and called Glen again. He told me to wait while he found me.  I sat and chewed off most of one of my "fake" nails.  When Glen arrived he was surprised to see a lot of the front end hanging and dented.  After inspecting the damage and finding dog/coyote hair he determined I hit it head on.  The radiator was smashed.  For the record it is now more than 5 hours later and my heart is still racing.

Why? Why was the accident not more profound to me--- why didn't the car careen and then roll, why didn't I slam on the breaks (even afterwards)?  Why?  The Mini Cooper is super low to the ground, why didn't I get hurt?